A while back, I worked with a well-off businessman, who was having a tough time after his recent breakup. We’ll call him Veer. You’d like Veer. He is charming, inquisitive, and generally a joy to work with. Very tough, masculine guy – and it showed.
Veer’s ambition translated into a thriving export business, alongside deep and satisfying relationships with his large network of friends. He frequently donated both his time and his money to charitable causes, including building a library in his home village.
Veer’s life looked picture perfect. But secretly, he was suffering.
His family and friends knew that he and Priya, his girlfriend of two years, were no longer together. But didn’t know know how desperate and confused he felt. He mostly kept his feelings to himself.
But…
After 3 weeks of no contact, Veer saw that Priya still had the photo of her happily draped over his shoulders as her profile picture on Facebook.
His mind raced, and his heart started thumping in his chest. He pulled up WhatsApp.
Not only was she online but she still had the same profile picture of them together displayed openly.
What the heck was going on?
“She told me she didn’t want to be with me, so I don’t understand why she still has our pictures up! Could she not be over me? Maybe it means nothing?” Veer asked me.
So if you’re in the same boat, you’re in the right place. I’m going to give you answers just like I gave Veer. Fortunately, I’ve got good news for you – even if there is a catch. Stick around with me for a second and I’ll reveal it to you.
But first…
Men like Veer are a good reminder that breakups hurt everyone. It doesn’t matter how rich, smart, high SMV, alpha, or whatever the flavor of the rainbow you are today.
Even the strongest and toughest men among us get laid low by them! You’re not any less of a man for being one of them. So don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way!
Your progress isn’t all gone just because you cheated and peeked at her Instagram.
But enough warm fuzzies my man, you came here with a mission and we’ve got work to do. Let’s get down to business.
What Does It Mean If Your Ex-Girlfriend Still Hasn’t Changed Her Profile Picture After The Breakup?
The reason why your ex-girlfriend still hasn’t changed her profile picture is that she has a reason not to change it. This can include:
- Not being active on social media;
- Taking a break from social media after the breakup;
- Not wanting to tell friends and family about the breakup;
- To avoid getting hit on by other guys;
- Needing time to separate from the breakup;
- Feeling unsure if the breakup is final;
- As a show that she’s open to getting back together;
- If you’re still “friends” after the breakup;
- To see what you’ll do;
- To try to get a reaction from you;
- …and many more.
And I’ll be dead honest with you, it’s unlikely you’re ever going to know which of these reasons (s) are behind her not changing her profile picture.
In Veer’s case, we later found out that his ex-girlfriend hadn’t changed her profile picture because she didn’t want to tell her friends and family about the breakup until she was ready to talk about it.
Case closed.
But I get it – you’re probably still thinking to yourself “my situation is different! I think this is a sign she wants me back. There’s still hope!”. And if you’re a stubborn bastard like I was, and aren’t willing to give up on her just yet…then I have something to tell you. You’re not going to like it.
Remember that part where I told you I had bad news? Well…
Your Ex-Girlfriend Hasn’t Changed Her Profile Picture To Send A Message
“But Coach” you say “I know she’s on Instagram daily and yet she still hasn’t changed her profile picture yet. I see her stalking my stories! This has to mean something!”
And you know what, it does mean something.
But you and I will never know what that something is, because we are not mind readers.
So…
We could sit here all day and interrogate each of these potential reasons why your ex-girlfriend hasn’t changed her profile picture, just like all the other shitty articles on this topic, or we can cut to the chase.
Be honest with me for a second.
You don’t give a shit why she’s kept the picture of you two up on her profile. What you really dying to know is whether or not she:
- Wants to get back together with you;
- Is hurting as much as you are;
- Misses you as much as you miss her;
- Is thinking about your relationship;
- Still thinks well of you;
So listen here my friend: I know these questions are easy to obsess over. I know that you think the answers to them will make you feel better.
Take this from someone who has spent over half a decade as a breakup and relationship coach: the answers you’re looking for aren’t going to give you closure, or make you feel any better.
And they sure as hell aren’t going to change the facts.
- You are broken up;
- If she wanted to get back together with you, she would;
- If she wanted to send a message to you, she would;
She could change it all right this second and get back together with you. Undo all of this pain, obsession, hurt, and longing.
But she hasn’t yet, has she?
And since she hasn’t reached out and tried to get back together with you we can safely say for sure that her reasons for not changing her profile have nothing to do with you.
They have to do with her, and how she is feeling about herself and her situation.
So take a deep breath my friend, you’ve got this. Let’s talk about what you need to do next. Because cyberstalking her on social media is making your life a whole hell of a lot harder for you than it needs to be.
If You’re Having Trouble Staying Off Her Social Media, It’s Time For You To Take A Break
So now that you know that her profile picture has nothing to do with you, the only question remaining is what should you do?
And the answer my friend, starts with re-considering your social media activity.
In my article During No Contact, Avoid Social Media To Get Over Your Breakup Faster one of the key concepts I discuss is that social media makes you less happy, even before taking into account your breakup.
Be honest with yourself. Do you ever visit her social media pages and think to yourself “Wow, I am so glad I did that! I feel so happy and so free”?
It never does, does it?
Instead, it feels like a failure. Like a disappointment at best, or a heart-crushing “oh-my-god I’m never going to find someone so beautiful again” at worst. Now you’re dying on the inside, and it feels like all the progress you’ve made is gone.
But you still keep doing it anyway, right? It feels like you can’t help yourself – even though it’s making you unhappy. And that’s a big fucking deal to me.
In The 7 Critical Traits of a High-Value Man we established that…
A high-value man is a man who structures his life to maximize his long-term, masculine happiness.
In case you’re new to Men’s Breakup, helping you to maximize your long-term, masculine happiness is our mission.
So it kills me to see guys you and Veer blowing their brains out, obsessing over what their ex is doing on social media when they should be focused on themselves.
Because here’s the truth – which I talk more about in my course about how to get your ex back The Fundamentals – the best way to get your ex-girlfriend back (if she’s not talking to you) is to focus on growing and improving yourself, not what she is doing.
And guess what…that’s also the best way to move on too.
And funny enough, that’s also one of the key traits to maximizing your long-term, masculine happiness.
This is why I recommend that if you’re obsessing over your ex-girlfriend’s social media activity, you need to take a break from social media altogether.
Spend At Least 1 Month Off Of Social Media (More Is Better)
So instead of watching and waiting for her, get off of social media and get focused on yourself.
Focus on accepting the breakup, and learning why it happened if you want to move on
Read More: 8 Ways To Work On Yourself During No-Contact That You Can Start Today
Or pick up my course The Fundamentals and learn the research-backed critical skills that have helped hundreds of men like you get their ex-girlfriends back if you want a second chance.
Whatever you do, don’t waste your time searching in the weeds for signs about whether or not she wants you back. Because trust me, just because your ex-girlfriend hasn’t changed her profile picture doesn’t mean she still wants to date.
If she wants another chance, trust me, you’ll know.
Talk soon my friend,
Coach Jack