The Rational Man’s Guide To Sex With An Ex-Girlfriend

Sex feels good.

Sex with someone you’re comfortable with feels even better.

But I’m guessing you know that since you’re curious about having sex with your ex-girlfriend. And I can’t blame you. We’ve all had questions about it at one point another.

But you might have some reservations. “Should I really want to sleep with her?” is a common question guys ask me.

“Will she still sleep with me?” others ask. “Is it even worth it?”

The issue is complicated, and there are no right answers to any of these questions. Every situation is going to be different.

Today, I’ll give you the playbook to navigate your own complicated situation.

You’ll learn:

  1. Why you’re NOT crazy for still being attracted to her (and why it can help you get over her for good)
  2. How to make the entire experience so fun for her that she happily throws her clothes off with no complaints.
  3. The 3 critical things you need to accomplish before you’re ready to sleep with her again.
  4. How to make HER come up with the idea you’re having sex.
  5. How to escalate her attraction into powerful seduction so she chooses you over other men.
  6. Over 30 signs she’ll give you that she’s ready for more.
  7. 1 simple trick to make what happens after sex smooth as can be.

But first, let me be honest with you.

There’s a lot of bad information out there.

In fact, you’ve probably absorbed a lot of it already. For example, lots of guys tell me they can’t have sex with their ex-girlfriend, “because she’s dating someone else now!

That is not true. Just because she’s seeing someone doesn’t mean she’s seeing him exclusively.

I’ve also seen guys who think that they need to go way out of their way to have sex with their ex-girlfriend. We’re talking flowers, fancy steak dinner, roses on the bed and all that.

That’s not true either. In fact, putting in that much effort is more likely to scare her off.

If your ex-girlfriend is still attracted to you, it doesn’t matter if you’re together or not. You can still sleep with her. And if you do things right, having sex with her will be easy and fun for both of you.

I mean, who doesn’t like sex?

Better yet, once you start having mindblowing sex with her using the principles I’m about to teach she won’t want to tell you no. She’ll want to keep coming back for more until before you know it she’s asking to get back together again.

Read More: 18 Masculine Ways To Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back Fast

But we’ll get to that. First, let me prove to you that it’s completely possible for you to have sex with your ex-girlfriend.

In 2015, asked 1000 people aged 18 and up if they slept with an ex. 44% of them answered yes.

Of that 44% who answered yes, 54% of them were women.

Based on personal experience I would even say these odds are on the low end. The real number of people who have had sex with their exes is probably much closer to 55 or even 60 percent.

A lot of it comes down to the definition of an ex, which can change the results dramatically.

Looks like the odds are in your favor gentlemen.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Yes, Its Normal To Still Be Attracted To Your Ex-Girlfriend.

If we’re being honest here, most guys are still attracted to an ex whether they want to admit it or not.

In my experience, somewhere between 70-80% of all men are still physically attracted to at least 1 of their ex-girlfriends. Whether she’s the one that got away, or you think she’s more special than the rest, we all have one.

More likely than not though, she’s probably that special kind of hot that sticks with you. The combination of all the little things you like, that’s unique to you. You know what I’m talking about.

To be clear: you can be physically attracted to her but have no interest in dating or having a relationship with her. Those are two very different things, even though I’ve noticed more men than ever conflating them as one.

Big mistake.

That said, a recent study agreed that men, on average, hold a more positive view of their ex-girlfriends than their ex-girlfriends do of them.

The study also goes on to say men are more permissive sexually and have more flexible views on relationships, which is cited as one of the primary reasons men want to stay in contact with their ex-girlfriends.

In other words, the study seems to suggest men tend to stick around because they want to get laid.

That might offend some of you, but I agree with the conclusion. A lot of guys get wrapped up and over-sexualize their ex-girlfriend because they aren’t out meeting new women and getting laid.

But hey, I’m not here to judge. Because…

Sleeping With Her Can Actually Help You Get Over Her

If you’re looking for a reason to get freaky, social science has your back.

A 2012 study in the Journal of Social And Clinical Psychology showed that among formerly married couples, those who weren’t taking the breakup well, reported “significantly” better adjustment when they were getting it on between the sheets.

While it’s important not to draw too many conclusions from this because I haven’t seen these results replicated yet, experience tells me that this conclusion is most likely true.

When you’re having sex with your ex-girlfriend, it’s much easier to stop fantasizing about her. You don’t pedestalize her. When you’re not doing either of those, it’s easier to accept that she’s just another girl, no matter how sad the end of your relationship is.

So don’t take it as a negative. There’s nothing wrong with being physically attracted to your ex-girlfriend if you’re not a creep about it. At the end of the day, attraction isn’t a choice.

But let me be crystal clear. Just because you can’t control who you’re attracted to, doesn’t mean you can’t control how you behave. The subject of sleeping with an ex is taboo because so many guys force the issue in a creepy way.

Whether that’s doing things like asking for nudes after the breakup or trying to push for sex even if she’s not into it. Just don’t do it. It’s one thing if she offers them on her own. It’s another thing if you’re constantly pestering her.

Now if we treated it like what it was supposed to be, which is a fun and intimate opportunity to share a special moment, there wouldn’t be so much pushback. Women like sex too.

With that said, yeah, being attracted to your ex-girlfriend is completely normal. It’s okay. If you let her come to you (as I’m about to show you) she will feel the same way.

So pay attention.

How To Know When You’re Ready To Have Sex With Your Ex-Girlfriend Again

Now, just because it’s okay to have sex with your ex-girlfriend doesn’t mean you’re ready for it.

Not only can it be bad for you emotionally, but it can also wreck your chances of getting her back if you’re not ready.

There are three milestones you need to pass before you’re ready to even consider sleeping with her again.

1: You need to be completely outcome independent, which means you’re hooking up with at least 1 new woman regularly.
2: You need to be able to look at her without feeling any strongly negative or strongly positive emotions. In other words, she’s neither good or bad. She’s just another girl.
3: You’ve beaten the Ex-Girlfriend Addiction™. More on this coming soon.

Let me explain the logic behind these – because at first, it might not make sense. For some of you, you may have just slept with her when she was your girlfriend.

That could have been as recently as a few days to a few weeks ago. But everything has changed since then.

Unlike when you were together, you’re not guaranteed another go with her. If you get it wrong while you’re having sex, there’s nothing saying you’ll get another chance. Assuming you want to have sex with her more than once, you want to do it right.

But that’s none of my business.

It doesn’t matter if you guys broke up yesterday. If you do it wrong, you can completely push her away.

While that might make sense logically, it’s a completely different experience when the girl you used to love is right in front of you. You’re going to hesitate with her, even if you don’t with other women.

That’s why it’s important to have experiences with new women prior to trying to sleep with her again. Not only will it make you more confident in yourself, but it will insure you against the possibility of failure.

If you have at least one woman you’re sleeping with (or even better, two) you won’t feel like you need to overdo it with your ex-girlfriend just because you’re ridiculously horny.

Research also shows that having another woman leads you to have a more neutral view of your ex-girlfriend, which will help you keep your cool even if things start slipping.

And they will slip, and when they slip, she’s going to test you. It’s up to you to pass the tests whether the shit hits the fan or not as a result.

Emotional Neutrality Puts Shit Tests In Check

When she tests you, your reaction (or, if you’re doing it correctly, your lack of reaction) will set the tone for the rest of your seduction.

During the seduction, you’ll be leading her, and she’ll be giving you subtle signs she wants you to continue or to slow down. Essentially, you’ll act and she’ll react according to how you’ve acted.

Basically, you’re the one to initiate the action. You’re making a decision and she’s following you, not the other way around.

That requires you to make the right decision for both you and her, however.

For instance, if she’s moaning loudly while you’re going down on her, it’s up to you to keep doing what you’re doing.

It’s also up to you to back off if you suspect she’s not into it.

When you do this right, your ex-girlfriend won’t try to test you. But, if you screw something up, she’ll sneak a few barbs in there to test your confidence.

These tests (called shit tests) are meant to see if she can get you to react to her. You pass them by not reacting at all. If you get angry, sad, or jealous, you’ve failed.

But if you don’t give a shit what happens, you’ll be able to shrug them off. That’s why having other women options are so helpful. You’ll be more centered and masculine because you know that you’ve got other things going on.

For example, there’s a very common pre-sex shit test where women say “we’re not having sex tonight”.

If you’re not cool and collected, this might make you angry and throw off the entire night. But, if you’re cool, calm, and collected, you’ll be able to use your rational brain.

Think about it that line for a second. Why is she saying something like that? Because she’s thinking about having sex with you, and chances are you’re pushing too hard.

If you get angry or feel needy and start pushing even harder, you’ll fail to calibrate properly and back off for a little bit. Then you won’t end up having sex because she’ll be having a bad time.

Ultimately though, being able to think rationally comes from your healing all the way first.

The Most Important Reason To Wait Is For Your Healing!

Jumping right back into the heat of it with your ex-girlfriend isn’t going to fix any of the issues you two have.

In fact, it may only delay the inevitable where she stops contacting you altogether.

But, if you take your time to identify the issues you were bringing to the relationship and fix them, sharing great sex can help you build a lasting foundation for a great relationship.

If you go in too early, you’re setting yourself up for additional pain that you just don’t need while you’re trying to get over a breakup.

Assuming you’ve passed the 3 steps, you’re ready to have sex with your ex-girlfriend. The only question is: should you?

If You’re Ready, Should You Have Sex With Your Ex-Girlfriend?

If you’ve passed all 3 milestones above, you’re free to have sex with your ex-girlfriend as much as you want long as you aren’t having sex with her exclusively.

Yep. You aren’t allowed to get monogamous with her unless you two get back in a relationship. If she wants monogamy, she has to earn that from you. It isn’t just something you should give her because you’re having sex.

Don’t be stupid and end up in the friendzone.

That being said, there are definitely benefits to having sex with your ex-girlfriend including:

  • The sex tends to be better because you two are comfortable with each other.
  • As previously mentioned: sex can help you get over her!
  • You’re clearly attracted to her, which means you’ll put in more effort to make it a good experience for both people.
  • Good sex can help repair your relationship with her (more on this later).
  • Great sex (notice the distinction?) can get her to think so highly of you that she’ll choose you over other guys every time.
  • The process of seducing an ex-girlfriend seriously improves your game with other women.
  • Since you already have a connection with her, the process of seducing her can require less upfront work than a new woman.
  • You can share a good experience with someone you love, even if you don’t get back together.

But even the best things can go wrong. See below.

… because there are also some drawbacks to having sex with your ex-girlfriend.

  • You have less room to screw things up then you do with a new girl.
  • If you didn’t use condoms during your relationship, using them now may be tricky (more on this later).
  • If you have sex with her before you’re ready, you can make your Ex-Girlfriend Addiction worse.
  • She’s not going to be any different in bed than she was before.
  • She knows what to expect from you, so if you want to rock her world, you’ll need to use new moves.
  • She could reactive negatively even if you do everything right.
  • If your dick game is too good she’ll never stop thinking about it.

Ultimately you’re going to have to weigh the benefits versus the drawbacks. For most men, there’s really no reason you can’t sleep with your ex-girlfriend provided you meet the three milestones above, and she’s willing.

As I said before, sex is good. Sex with someone you’re comfortable with is even better.

Alright, Let’s Make This Happen. How Do I Seduce My Ex-Girlfriend?

Now we’re on the right track. If you want to sleep with your ex-girlfriend, you’ll have to seduce her first.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Just like a spark comes before the fire, you need attraction before you can have seduction.

If a woman isn’t attracted to you and you try to seduce her, you’re going to come across as a creep. When you come across as a creep, you get rejected.

Unfortunately, there is no way to shortcut this process. Plenty of men have tried. They’ve attempted to cheat the system and in doing so have violated the holy covenant that “thou must attracteth a woman before thou seducth her”

Here are some notable examples.

His Puddin’ is about to be poppin. (Source: CATimes)
Pick up artists hate him…sleep with any Hollywood star with this one simple trick… (Source: BBC)
Prince tribute “Yellow Rain” coming soon. (Source: BBC)

Unless you want to end up like these assholes, the right question is “how do I attract her again?”

Now we’re getting somewhere!

Let Her Come To You First – You Want It To Be Her Idea!

Imagine you’re out on a stroll in the city. For whatever reason, you want to ask a girl out. Maybe you and your buddies placed a bet, or maybe you’re just feeling lucky, because hey, today’s your day.

You walk up to a random girl on the street who happens to be strolling around. This girl has no idea who you are, and you ask her to go on an on-the-spot date with you.

Chances are, she’s going to say no to you no matter how attractive you are. My experience as an average/decent-looking guy says you’ll hit on no more than 3/100 of these if you’re fantastically lucky. That’s a 97% failure rate if you’re counting. Not great odds.

You might shrug and keep walking. But the next morning you get back up and go do it again. And who do you see? It’s the girl from yesterday, about 50 feet from crossing your path.

But this time, that girl has the idea in her head that she wants someone to ask her out. She kicked herself the night before for saying no to you because it just so happens you’re her type after all.

This time, when you ask her out, she eagerly says yes, because she already had the idea in her head.

You were just the guy that happened to fulfill it because you showed up at the right place, at the right time, with a steel ballsack ready to slap some sense into her poon.

Re-attracting your ex-girlfriend works the same way. You don’t want to be forcing ideas or yourself on her. Let her come to you!

You want to give her the freedom to choose you. Let her be the one who’s interested. And then, the moment she’s interested, you’re immediately there to fill the need.

Sparking that need is a slow process, but it’s like a freight train. Once you get it moving, momentum will carry you the rest of the way.

Her Coming To You = Her Agreeing To A Date At Your Place

The mechanics of building attraction with her are simple.

You start by going no-contact. This entire method relies on her reaching out to you. If you’re reaching out to her, there’s no way to know if she’s interested for sure. You could be wasting your time.

The good news is, at some point, she’ll very likely feel the need to reach out to you.

When she reaches out to you, you’ll assume she’s reaching out to you because she wants to see you.

Knowing this, you’ll invite her to a date at your place. You won’t waste time texting her back and forth.

Once she’s at your place, the real fun because to get the momentum going, you’ll need to…

Speak her language – use subtext and action to communicate with her.

The process of seduction always begins with subtext, which most men are terrible at. You guys are far too blunt in the beginning stages, especially because you assume women think like men.

Women do not think like we do. Visual attraction is maybe 20-30% for them, whereas it’s 70-80% for us.

We know who we want to sleep with the second we walk into a room. Women don’t, but men assume they do.

That’s why you see guys that aren’t that attractive with smoking hot women. Attraction for women isn’t just about looks!

The process of deciding on who she wants to sleep with involves feeling, as well as seeing, hearing, and sensing. It’s a multi-faceted process that’s far more important than just physical attraction.

One of the biggest parts of the process for her is communication. But when I say communication, I don’t mean just what you’re saying.

Women are looking to see the meaning behind what you’re actually saying. That subtext is what communicates how you really feel and begins to create the attraction for her.

Think About How She’ll Interpret What You Do

Women are always looking for hidden meaning. They’ll spend hours talking with their girlfriends about what one or two little gestures mean.

That’s why it’s important to consider the hidden meaning of what you’re telling her.

For example, you want to have her over for dinner instead of suggesting a bar. Think about the subtext. Dinner at home = romantic, comfortable, with a high potential to be hands-on. Bar implies noisy, crowded, and public. Not very intimate.

Women communicate well with subtext. She’ll understand the implied meaning and start thinking about it. Thinking about you. About what dinner might be like. About if you might kiss her.

It’s the same thing with touching her somewhere intimate (that’s not her breasts or her ass) like her neck. She’ll start anticipating where you’ll touch her next.

The more she thinks about it, the more she’ll get the ideas of her own in her head. Now you have no way of knowing what those ideas are. They could be good or bad.

She might get the idea she likes where things are going. Or she might get the idea that she doesn’t. Again, she’s probably not going to tell you either way unless you’re doing so well, or so poorly that she feels compelled to stop the interaction.

However, she will give you little clues that she expects you to read. This is her communicating back to you with subtext, and it’s up to you to correctly interpret the cues she’s giving you and then advance the seduction accordingly.

Now the key to getting to this point is to allow the idea to even talk to you pop into her head at random. The one downside to this otherwise close to foolproof method is it relies on her reaching out to you.

That means you have to go no-contact until she reaches out to you. You can’t contact her if you want this to work. It has to be her idea.

Don’t be one of those fucks that make the rest of us look back. Remember, just because you want her, doesn’t mean she wants you!

This is why it’s so important for her to reach out to you. If she’s the one reaching out to you, you know she’s at least thinking about you, which is the first step towards asking her on a date.

That is what kickstarts the chain, which is quite simple.

  1. You go no-contact.
  2. She reaches out to you.
  3. You don’t waste time texting her and invite her on a date at your place. If she doesn’t accept, end the conversation and go back to no-contact.
  4. She accepts and comes to your place to cook dinner.
  5. You show her you’ve changed (without outright telling her).
  6. You keep things light and funny while touching her often.
  7. LET HER DO MOST OF THE TALKING. Ask her questions. But not just surface-level questions. Give her something that requires some thought.
  8. Watch for her body language opening up. Playing with her hair, looking at your lips, touching you on her own, etc. Once she’s open, you have a green light to begin slowly testing her.

What it essentially boils down to is: once she has the idea in her head, lead her as far as she’s comfortable. Be different and decisive, but keep it light and fun.

Lead the interaction according to the principles here.

If you follow the sequence above, her attraction to you will start to build. She’ll begin thinking about what comes next, and you’ll have effectively planted the idea in her head that seduction is about to happen.

Before we move on, there’s one key point I need to cover.

You don’t use texting to re-attract your ex-girlfriend. Do not buy “Texting Guides” or read anything that suggests you use text messaging to re-attract her. This gimmicky advice doesn’t work. The phone is for scheduling only.

Don’t waste your money with anything involving text seduction. Text seduction doesn’t work because there’s nothing to build from. You can’t touch her or use body language to move things along. There’s also no sense in trying to seduce her without the direct opportunity for sex to happen. It can cause things to get weird, fast.

The key takeaway here: invite her to your place, and get her warmed up by engaging her in conversation over a good dinner. Once she’s there and her body language is open and playful, she’ll start giving you signs.

The Signs That She’s Ready To Be Seduced

When it comes to reading her intentions, you’re going to be focused on what she does, not what she says. If you listen to what she says, you’re going to be completely fucking confused as she’ll seemingly contradict herself at every turn.

It’s not her fault either – our man brains are just not good at understanding women.

However, her actions and body language will tell you exactly what you need to know if you pay attention.

Plus, you’ll be able to compare what she’s doing now to what she used to do when she was dating you. Those subtle differences will give you a leg up when you’re seducing her compared to any other woman.

Before we go on, I want to make it clear that I’m assuming you’ve followed the 8 step process above and your ex-girlfriend is at your house for dinner.

While the signs I’m about to give you can work anywhere, you’re only going to be able to act correctly if you are somewhere private with her.

When discussing seducing your ex-girlfriend, there are 4 stages you’ll go through, each with different signs she’s ready to move to the next stage. These signs also tell you that you’re doing everything right, and are progressing towards a successful seduction that’s enjoyable for both of you.

The first 3 are the lead-up and the act itself, while the last is more about the overall seduction of her as a person.

The 4 stages of seduction are:

  1. Pre-Foreplay
  2. Foreplay
  3. Sex
  4. Post-sex lock-in

No one sign on its own will indicate her interest, so you should look for multiple signs before moving on to the next stage. You also shouldn’t jump to the next stage until she’s been giving you multiple signs for at least several minutes.

For her, the build-up to the actual sex is what’s exciting, even if you’re a between the sheets champion who’s capable of slapping tang for hours on end.

Give her what she wants (the slow buildup) and she’ll give you what you want (to slap her tang with your nuts).

1: Pre-Foreplay

  • She touches you randomly. She may “accidentally” bump into you, or make some excuse to touch you.
  • She’s more put together than usual. Whether that’s more makeup, a new perfume, a fresh manicure, etc. May also include wearing something tighter or more revealing than usual.
  • She licks her lips slightly while you’re looking at her (translation: she’s anticipating you kissing her)
  • She gets into your personal space when sitting. Pay attention if she starts getting progressively closer to you as the night goes on.
  • When you touch her, she “opens” herself so you can touch other non-sexual parts of her.
  • Her breathing starts to get faster when you touch her. She could be aroused. It’s also possible she’s nervous. If she tenses up when you touch her, it’s nerves.
  • She’s giving you long, well thought out answers to your questions and generally being chatty.
  • She appears to be generally relaxed.

2: Foreplay

  • When you pull away from her kiss and she comes back and kisses you more.
  • She runs her hands all over your body while kissing
  • Her breathing starts to become faster, louder, and lighter.
  • She moans or grunts slightly when you touch or kiss her.
  • She begins kissing you more intently
  • She opens up to being touched on her breasts, her butt, and her neck
  • You can feel the heat between her legs
  • When you’re going down on her, her back starts to arch
  • She starts taking your clothes off or her clothes off without being prompted
  • Her bra and panties match (in other words, she knew sex was going to happen before she even came over).
  • She’s shaved her legs/panty line.
  • Her panties are wet even if you’ve not touched her down there yet.
  • She goes down on you without prompting

3: Sex

  • She looks you in the eyes if you have her on her back (a woman closing her eyes may be imagining someone else)
  • She moves her body whether or not she’s on top. If she’s just laying there and letting you do your thing, she may not be engaged.
  • She’s animated (making noise, talking, touching you, etc). Not all women are animated in bed, but if she’s enjoying herself she will be more animated than usual.
  • She tells you she’s about to come.
  • You can feel her body tensing up (this can mean she’s about to come, but it can also mean you’re hurting her, so please be careful).
  • She starts trying to take control. This could be her trying to get on top, or her grabbing you to pull you closer
  • She tries to kiss you during the act itself.

Notice that very few of these signs are verbal? With women, it always pays to watch what they do, not what they say. What she says is indicative of how she feels in any particular moment.

And as we know, what she feels can change. A lot.

This is why you’ll need a crash course in dealing with her shit tests.

Dealing With Pre And Post Sex Shit Tests

The best way to deal with shit tests if you’re on a date is to just ignore them, or use humor to deflect them before continuing the conversation.

For instance, if she says something along the lines of “why is your penis so small?” you might say something like “it’s only because you’re comparing it to yours” with a shit-eating grin.

But sex is a delicate subject and it’s better to approach it from a position of respect. If you say the wrong thing, you can immediately turn your ex-girlfriend off.

But, that approach doesn’t always work when it’s time for you to seduce your ex-girlfriend because if you say the wrong thing you can immediately turn her off for the rest of the night.

That being said, we have two main issues we need to address.

  1. Failing to correctly deal with her shit tests can turn her off
  2. Her “shit tests” might not actually be shit tests.

Let’s start with the first one, because the second is a bit more complicated.

The best way to not fail her shit tests is to not have any shit tests happen in the first place.

You might be thinking “Well, no shit Jack, wouldn’t that be nice?”

The good news is, it’s completely possible to seduce her with no shit tests.

The secret to that is in taking things slow! I know you want to stick your dick in her the second she walks in the door, but that’s not how it works for women.

She needs time to warm up to you again, even though you’ve dated before. Make her feel comfortable without being overbearing. Take a genuine interest in what she’s saying. Try to make her laugh. Ask her questions where she’ll have to give you details.

By engaging her, you’ll open her up to talking about herself. The more she talks, the more engaged and comfortable she’ll feel.

If you start trying to push her, she’ll start to test you more.

If she does test you, you need to first make sure it’s a shit test. If things are going well, there shouldn’t be any tension and you should feel happy hanging around her.

However, if she says something that makes you stop and say “what?” or it makes you feel the need to defend yourself, it’s probably a shit test. However, you need to consider the subtext.

Remember, it’s always about subtext when it comes to seducing your ex-girlfriend!

A shit test is not always a shit test. For example, if you two are kissing and she firmly tells you to stop. That is NOT a shit test. You need to stop kissing her immediately.

But, if she breathlessly moans to “stop”, and she’s still kissing and touching you without you pushing for it, you know it’s a shit test and she just wants to see what you’ll do.

If it’s a shit test, the best thing you can do is to redirect the conversation to somewhere else. Don’t get defensive. Shit tests are just her way of seeing how confident you are now, and attempting to defend yourself is something you’ll only do if you’re not confident.

Generally speaking though, if you guys have a good time and you’re focused on making it enjoyable for her, you will get very minimal pushback.

The key is to make it enjoyable for her.

How To Rock Her World Harder Than You Ever Have Before

The key to having great sex is to take it slow! For women, at least half the enjoyment they get from sex is what comes before sex.

While there are some things that you can’t control like how she feels about herself or her outfit, what you can control is the speed of the escalation.

The key takeaway here is two steps forward, one step back. You want to slowly graduate from touching to kissing, then to foreplay, and finally to the act itself.

The way you apply two steps forward, one step back is simple. You might kiss her passionately for a few minutes and then step back to go stir the soup you’re cooking. Once you’re in the same room, you talk a little bit more, followed by more kissing, only this time you slip your hand under her shirt and caress the small of her back.

Moving things forward slowly will build tension for her and heighten her anticipation of what comes next, which will ultimately make the entire act far more pleasurable for her.

Also: don’t just work her obvious erogenous zones. The chart below is great because it gives you a progression. Start by touching the zones in yellow, and then slowly graduate to orange and beyond.

For example, you can send a chill up her spine by very gently running your fingers up her back. However, since her back is an orange zone, you shouldn’t attempt to touch it until you’ve already worked on touching her in yellow zones like her arms and face.

I’m not going to go into too much more detail than that – as this post is already extremely long.

If you want to learn more, I highly recommend getting “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman

While Ian Kerner takes his time making his points and his terminology is a little…weird, it’s clear to me that he’s had plenty of experience. This guy fucks. No question about it. Use his experience to your benefit.

You’ll learn a thing or two about rocking her.

Spend the $13 bucks and get this book. It’s better than getting rejected because your dick game isn’t up to snuff.

Because at the end of the day…

Good Sex Will Help Her Choose You Over Everyone Else

Once a woman gets hooked on you, you’ll own a piece of her imagination for a little bit. I’ll let a woman explain exactly what this feeling is like.

Ever since I started having sexy time with this guy, sex is all I can think about!! All day and night I’m horny and thinking about when he’s gonna come over and fuck me again. We have only hung out four times and it’s pretty casual so far, so I’m trying not to get sucked in, but I want him to fuck me again so badly. […]

Have you ever felt like your brain was taken over by wanting someone so badly?

Posted byu/mashcraft4
1 year ago

This guy has seen her 4 times. 4. And she’s already asking for advice about what to do.

Now imagine this is your ex-girlfriend, someone you’ve already been emotionally intimate with. If you hit a home run with her, you’ll elevate your value in her eyes.

She’s already comfortable with you, and if you just had amazing sex, any new guy is going to have to work very hard to replace you.

Think about our girl above. Do you think she’s replacing the guy that’s rocking her world any time soon?

Absolutely not.

Post-Sex Wrap Up

You need to have a plan in place for after sex so things go well. Even though she’s your ex-girlfriend, she shouldn’t stay over. You don’t want to fall back into old habits. If you want to get back together, you want it to be a deliberate decision.

But you also don’t want to kick her out right away either, otherwise, you’re essentially telling her that you see her as a hookup only, which can ruin the atmosphere of comfort you’ve just created.

You need to balance the comfort with the idea that she needs to earn her way back in.

Here’s what you do. After the deed is done, give her a few minutes to cool off. Continue to keep things light and funny. If you did a good job during sex and she orgasmed, she should feel very relaxed and will be amicable.

Once she’s had a few minutes, pull her into a hot shower with you and have her scrub you down. Do the same thing for her, but take your time. Rub her shoulders a little bit and touch her gently.

Your goal is to make it part of the experience for her, so no need to rush.

Once you’ve showered and cleaned up, stay out of the bedroom. Feel free to let her hang around for a little bit if you have time. Most women will leave on their own after 30 minutes to 1 hour. Make sure you walk her out!

If she doesn’t leave, tell her “Hey, I’m going to get ready for bed, I have to be up early in the morning. Let me walk you to your car”

Once you get her outside, give her a kiss and send her on her way.

Congratulations, you’ve had sex with your ex-girlfriend.

The next morning, make sure you shoot her a text about something you joked about during the night. She’ll probably tell you that she had a good time.

After she responds and you go back and forth for a little bit, go back to no-contact. Wait for her to reach out to you and begin the cycle again.

It’s that simple. Relationships don’t have to be complicated.

Talk soon my friend,

Coach Jack

PS: Got a burning question about your ex-girlfriend or your unique situation that you want my expert advice on? Click here to learn how I can help you.

Coach Jack

I'm Coach Jack, the owner and founder of Men's Breakup. I help over 1 million men a year radically transform their lives for the better after being dumped. My breakup recovery method for men combines science, first-hand experience, and critical analysis to show you how to either get her back, or get over her by building a life of long-term, masculine happiness.

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