If you sent your ex a message and she didn’t reply, you shouldn’t send another message. She read your message and chose not to reply, which means she doesn’t want to talk.
While that might seem pretty bleak at first, it’s not as bad as you think, if you follow the right system. Which I’ll tell you about.
But we’ll get to that in a second.
Gather round the campfire kids (but not too close, or you’ll catch COVID-19!) and let Uncle Jack tell you a story.
The Boy & His Cat
Little Timmy was 6 years old when he got his first cat.
It was an energetic orange and white tabby with a strange name that Timmy couldn’t quite pronounce.
“Mommy, how do I say kitty’s name again?” Timmy asked.
“Lucifurr, honey” said his mom Jennifer as she swirled her red wine inside the wine glass.
Timmy still wasn’t able to make the name work, but he nodded his head regardless.
Lucifurr meanwhile, sat peacefully next to his mom as she tapped away at her phone.
Suddenly, his mom let out a deep breath and rolled her eyes. She put down the phone and muttered something to herself before washing away the words with a large gulp of wine.
“Mommy’s going to raise you right Timmy” she said, as she used her free hand to stroke Lucifurr gently.
Timmy watched as the cat’s tail began to flick back and forth until he finally shot out from her lap in a blur of paws and fur.
“Not you too Lucifurr!” his mom squealed, as she tried to grab Lucifurr and return him to her lap.
Timmy laughed as the cat ran even further away, leaping off the couch and into the window across the room.
“I’ll get him for you mommy!” Timmy shouted enthusiasticly.
Unfortunately for Timmy, Lucifurr had other ideas.
For 15 minutes, Lucifurr eluded Timmy’s grasp. Whenever he would get close, Lucifurr would run further and further away.
No matter how hard little Timmy chased, he couldn’t seem catch Lucifurr.
Finally, he sat down in defeat.
“He’s too fast mommy!”
Timmy looked over across the room to the corner where Lucifurr sat perfectly still, save for a few small bobs of the tip of his tail.
So Timmy tried yelling at the cat.
“Come here Luphiferh! Come here kitty kitty”
But Lucifurr just sat there, unbothered.
Eventually, Timmy gave it up altogether when his 6-year-old brain remembered he had Legos to play with.
So he went and played with his legos and forgot all about the cat.
An hour later after Timmy had murdered his mom’s feet while making a half-assed car, he heard purring in his ear.
Lucifurr had come up and was rubbing his furry head on Timmy’s arm like nothing had happened.
After a minute of this, Timmy tried to grab the cat.
Yet again, Lucifurr ran away!
Timmy shook his head and sat back down with his legos.
15 minutes later, Lucifurr gently headbutted little Timmy.
But this time Timmy was smart. Instead of grabbing the cat, he let him be.
“Lucifurr, where’s my attention?” Timmy’s mom asked.
Again she seized at the cat, but with no more luck than before.
“Whoever wrote that cats were easier then men should be fired!” she cursed.
The More You Chase Your Ex, The More She Ignores You.
Your ex-girlfriend is just like Lucifurr.
Well, minus the fact that she’s not a cat, and her name isn’t Lucifurr (I hope).
Plus her reasons for not responding to your message are a lot different than Lucifurr’s (I hope).
But other than that, she’s the same.
Cats are going to do whatever the fuck they want, whenever the fuck they want to do it.
And no matter what you try, if a cat doesn’t want to listen, it’s not going to.
Trust me. I spent about half my day yelling at my cat to stop attacking my recliner.
You can yell and scream at a cat all you want. And you can chase it too. But just like Timmy and his mom learned, a cat will always do what it wants, when it wants to do it.
Your ex-girlfriend is the same.
She’s going to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it.
That includes talking to you.
If she wants to talk to you, she’s going to reach out and talk to you.
But, if you chase her when she doesn’t want to talk to you, she’s going to run away and ignore you.
Just like Lucifurr.
Now, you can either be Timmy’s mom or be like Timmy. Timmy waited Lucifurr out, and Lucifurr came to him, while Timmy’s mom was left to her red wine.
So don’t be constantly messaging your ex-girlfriend and wondering why she’s not replying.
Moral of the story: you’ve got to let your ex-girlfriend come to you when she’s ready! You can’t force your agenda on her. If you give her the time and space to come to you, you’re much more likely to succeed with her.
But before we talk about success, we need to talk about the elephant in the room.
There Are Tons Of Reasons She’s Could Be Ignoring You
“Can you tell me specifically why she’s ignoring me?”
I get asked this question all the time.
And if you’re asking the same question, fair enough. Until I learned what really made women tick, I asked the same thing.
So here’s your answer.
- She’s mad at you.
- She’s sad.
- Talking to you makes her feel uncomfortable.
- She found out that you think Tiger King is a groundbreaking documentary film.
- She’s dating someone new.
- You’re too needy and it turns her off.
- She really has moved on and wants you to move on too.
- She’s trying to friendzone you.
- She knows it was you that gave her the ‘rona.
- Her cat Lucifurr died.
- Her best friend took a massive shit and won’t stop talking about it.
But if you’re asking why she’s ignoring you, you’re asking the wrong question.
It’s like not being able to see the forest for the trees.
Because it doesn’t matter why she’s ignoring you. We’ve already established that there’s nothing you can do about that.
What matters is she’s ignoring you.
That’s the situation you find yourself in, no matter why.
When it comes down to it, there are only two ways to handle this situation.
Women Are Like Cats And (Most) Men Are Like Rocks
In 1975, advertising man Gary Dahl became a multi-millionaire with one revolutionary invention.
And without further adeiu, here it is:
That’s right, he “invented” the pet rock.
According to Wikipedia, he sold over 1 million pet rocks for $4 dollars each in less than 6 months.
That’s about $20 bucks each today. Not too shabby.
If he had waited another 40 years, he would have been able to make even more selling his “How I Scaled To 8 Figures FAST” course on Facebook.
By now, you’re probably asking yourself what a pet rock has to do with your ex-girlfriend ignoring you.
You’re also probably wondering how the heck someone made over $4 million selling rocks in 1975 dollars.
Luckily enough, I’ll answer both questions for you in one sentence.
We make decisions emotionally and then use facts and logic to justify those decisions.
It’s a tried and true principle in sales, and it’s just as true in relationships.
When you feel positive about something, you tend to believe that positive things are going to happen.
Our pet rock made people laugh, and that led to sales and oodles of sweet cash for our boy Gary Dahl.
But it also works the other way.
Negative Emotions Lead To Pessimistic Decisions
When you feel shitty, you tend to scrutinize your decisions more closely, according to research from Rice University.
And guess who feels shitty after a breakup? Your ex-girlfriend.
It doesn’t matter whether you broke up with her or if she broke up with you.
The real reason she’s ignoring you isn’t because of something specific you did – it’s because you are making her FEEL bad.
That’s why she’s ignoring you.
It’s not because you’re not saying something funny.
If she wants to talk to you, you can literally say hi and she’ll do the rest.
It’s not because you’re not bringing enough value.
If she wants to talk to you, she’ll be the one bringing the value.
It’s because she doesn’t FEEL good about talking to you.
If she felt good about talking to you, she’d be talking to you.
But This Is Where Most Guys Get It Wrong
Remember how I said most men are like rocks?
From what I’ve seen, when guys get ignored, 1 of 4 things happens.
They get angry.
“That bitch! Who is she to ignore my message!”
They get hurt.
“She never loved me after all! I’m worthless”
They get scared.
“She must have found someone else! Oh shit, what am I going to do?”
They get confused.
“She was responding a week ago! What changed?”
And guess what these guys do when they don’t get a reply.
They send another text.
And another one.
One long novel later, they scratch their heads when they still don’t get a reply.
I should know. Long before I started Men’s Breakup I used to do the same thing and wonder why I never got a reply.
But now I know – women are like cats. They come to you when THEY feel like it. But most men are like rocks because they either don’t know the truth, or they ignore the truth and get left behind.
So What Can You Do?
I’m glad you asked.
Even if you didn’t ask, and you’re reading these words anyway I know I’ve still got you hooked.
So listen close. What you do is really freaking simple.
Do the same thing she’s doing to you.
Not because you want to be mean or because you want to hurt your feelings.
Do it because you want to give her space – which is exactly what she wants if she’s ignoring you.
Because let’s be honest here man, it sucks when you pour your heart out in a message and she just ignores it.
Forget that. Our aim here is to be happy – and messaging your ex-girlfriend basically begging her for a response won’t make you happy.
It’ll just make you depressed.
So keep it simple. Go no-contact and let that be that.
But don’t just ignore her and count the seconds going by.
Because when she starts missing you, she won’t be ignoring you.
No, she’ll be the one reaching out to you.
You’ll be in the drivers seat.
Not stuck behind a computer screen trying to figure out why she didn’t reply to your 15th text in a row.
Now obviously I can’t cover every specific situation because that would take too much time.
With that being said, if you have a specific situation you need help with, I can tell you exactly why your ex-girlfriend is ignoring you.
Better yet, I can help you flip the script.
Imagine if you could get to a place where she was messaging you without you having to do anything.
Not only is it possible, it’s probable if you have the right strategy.