This morning I woke up this morning to the amniotic tranquility of a raging thunderstorm. For those of you who don’t know, I live in Tampa, Florida. Our rainy season is just about to start – which I’m not looking forward to. If you’re from Florida, or anywhere near the equator that doesn’t have the benefit of mountains (looking at you Bogota) you know why.
Because rainy season = fucking humid. And fucking humid = fucking hot.
Fuck.
I like to think our rainy season is really the sky crying because it’s as tired of 90 F (32.2 C), 100% humidity days as the rest of us.
But I digress.
I don’t know about you, but thunderstorms make my mind wander. I’ve heard it said that a wandering mind is a smart one. And considering that you guys tend to be more intelligent than average, perhaps you can relate to this.
Intelligence offers many benefits, but it does have at least one major drawback: intelligent people get lost in thought, a lot. And if you have followed my material, you know that is a big no-no. Getting out of your head and back into your life is a major part of what I teach here.
I’ve gotten a lot of emails from you guys over the past few weeks. Many of you are really missing your ex-girlfriend to the point of idealizing her / putting her on a pedestal / what have you. While I’ve talked about why this is dangerous before in my article about why your ex-girlfriend is not special, today I want to take a different approach.
Read More: Your Ex Is Not Special
One of the key concepts I teach here is that everything in your life is your fault. When things in your personal, business, or romantic life go wrong, instead of pointing the finger at external sources, you point the finger at yourself and accept responsibility for what was in your control. When you accept responsibility, you can figure out what went wrong and course correct. You must be able to do this if you want to experience long-term, masculine happiness.
But there’s another way to look at this concept: if everything in your life is your fault, so was your last relationship.
Your Love (And Energy) Was At Least Half Of What Made The Relationship Great
Many of you tell me stories about how great your former relationship was. I’ve heard stories of amazing vacations, over the top birthdays, shitty first apartments, first houses, jobs taken together and unconditional love even in the most trying of circumstances. I have also heard bits and pieces of the everyday life you shared together – the inside jokes, silly voices, and the little pet names you had for each other.
And now that your ex is gone, I also know that you probably feel like all of those good times, those happy memories are also gone forever.
But that’s just not true. All those memories, and the quiet moments you shared together that made you so happy are because of you. Without you – none of them would have happened. You were at least half of what made you so happy – and last I checked, you are sitting right here. Let that sink in. You haven’t lost that, and you never will.
All the love, all the energy that you poured into the relationship is what allowed those moments to happen, and that love and energy is still within you. It might not feel like it right now, but you’re not the only one missing out on all of the good times.
Your ex is too.
She’s missing out on the support, unconditional love, the romance, the sex, and having someone who cared for her above all else.
So if you are missing her right now, and afraid you will never find someone who will make you feel like she does, just remind yourself: you felt the way you did because of the love and energy that is already inside you. With time, patience, and effort that love will sow the seeds of your future growth and your future relationships.
Read More: It Takes Time, Be Patient And Enjoy The Ride
So the next time you miss her – remind yourself that at least half of what you miss is right here with you, and it’s never going anywhere.
Stay strong man.
If you need extra help, I invite you to book an email coaching session with me or to sign up for my free 7 day course down below.
Talk soon my friend,
Coach Jack