Yes, she’s going to miss you after you break up. She may even miss you if she dumped you.
Giving her space is also great. That will make her miss you. That’s why I advise you only see women once a week just like I talk about in the Men’s Breakup Dating System.
And would you believe it? If you quit talking to her by going no-contact with her, she will miss you at some point.
This is on average, or in other words, the majority of cases. Yes, there are some exceptions. But for most of you reading this, your case is not an exception.
She probably has missed you, or will miss you at some point.
So if you opened this article just to inflate your ego a bit, you can close it now.
Those are the surface level answers to the most common questions I get asked on the subject.
For the rest of you who aren’t satisfied with an average answer, I have an uncomfortable truth for you.
You won’t like it, but it will make you a better man.
Your ex-girlfriend will miss you at some point, but…
It doesn’t matter.
If you choose to believe those “Get Ex-Back Quick” “guides”, making her miss you is all it takes to get her back.
It’s not, which is just another reason those guides don’t work.
Don’t get me wrong, she has to miss you for her to want to get back together with you. Her missing you is what kickstarts the entire process of getting her back.
But that’s not all it takes, far from it.
In the last 6 years or so, before I transitioned away from monogamy and began following the Men’s Breakup Dating System, I’ve had 4 major breakups.
Each of my ex-girlfriends missed me at some point after we broke up. I can confirm that without guessing, as they’ve each told me.
I’ve written about 3 of those breakups in this critically important article covering all the details about no-contact if you are curious.
But despite them missing me I’m not dating a single one of them.
I had at least one chance to save the relationship in each case, but it didn’t end up happening.
So what gives?
Her missing you does not mean you should want to be with her.
Her missing you does not mean that she wants to be with you.
Her missing you does not mean your relationship is magically going to come back together.
Look, I realize that you miss her, and hope she is missing you in return.
There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s human nature to miss her. No one is arguing that.
But I know you’re also secretly hoping that if she misses you enough, she’ll come back to you.
Why else would you be reading this article?
So here’s the deal.
She Will Miss You Unless You Royally Fucked Something Up
As I’ve talked about many times, she will miss you at some point, even if she dumped you.
The one exception is if you massively, and I’m talking massively fucked something up. I’m talking abuse, severe neediness, you being her rebound or something of that caliber.
And honestly, depending on what it is, she STILL may miss you.
So what I’m telling you is she has missed, or is missing, or will miss you at some point.
Most guys that get my help end up realizing their ex-girlfriend misses them.
It doesn’t mean that she will miss you for very long. Women tend to move on faster than men do.
It doesn’t mean she’s going to be hurting as badly as you are. Women get over breakups faster than men do.
But on average, she will miss you at some point
I’ve seen plenty of “dating coaching” (including some you may have read) paint women as these cold, unfeeling bitches that will robotically leave your ass and laugh maniacally while they do it.
“These women never miss you, because you suck, now buy my $7,499 master course on how not to suck, just like I do”
But the truth is, most normal women will miss you.
That includes when you get dumped.
It’s unlikely you went through a breakup that was the equivalent of that nuclear level meltdown conservatives had when our man Obeezy wore his tan suit.
If your breakup happens for a normal reason, she will miss you at some point.
This includes breakups centered around:
- Communication issues
- Balance of power problems
- Jealousy & control issues
- Taking her for granted
This applies to LONG-TERM relationships, which are generally relationships that are over 6 months long.
If you were together for only a couple of months and you barely know her, this does not apply to you.
That doesn’t mean she won’t miss you if you were together for a short time, it just means that I can’t guarantee it like I can with long term relationships.
The point is, if she hasn’t missed you already, she will at some point in the future.
So now that that’s clear, let me reiterate this one more time (and feel free to skip this if you get the point).
Will She Miss Me If I Don’t Contact Her?
At Men’s Breakup, we teach that you’re supposed walk away as soon as she dumps you.
Walking away means indefinite no-contact.
None of this 21, 30, or 45-day no-contact bullshit.
You take the breakup like a man, and tell her that if she changes her mind to contact you. After that, you walk away until she reaches out.
You don’t contact her for any reason. And when you do it right, she will miss you when you walk away.
Her missing you is one of the side benefits of no-contact, assuming your breakup A) was a long term relationship and B) was a normal breakup.
And her missing you is good.
When she misses you during no-contact, she will at minimum not lose attraction to you. In some cases, (especially if you were too needy) this will increase her attraction to you over time.
So yes, no-contact CAN increase her attraction.
If her attraction to you is high enough and you aren’t there, she will miss you. It’s simple math.
But like I said before…that does not mean you will get back together.
And that my friend is because…
Making Her Miss You Does NOT Work On Its Own
Think back over the last 3-5 years. I bet you have a friend (or friends) that you miss from back then, don’t you?
Are you friends with them right now, even though you miss them?
If not, why not?
Once you answer these questions I think you’ll get the point – that for one reason or another, not all relationships are meant to last.
Even the ones you feel (incorrectly) are going to last forever. No special woman is going to stay with you forever.
You can feel however you want. The numbers don’t agree with your feelings.
As I talk about in my article on the 6 real reasons she dumped you, most long term relationships fizzle out in between 2-4 years, depending on your age.
This is equally true for marriages and long term, non-married relationships.
Even worse, most of these couples won’t get back together either.
According to numerous studies I cite in my article “Will She Come Back? How To Maximize Your Chances” the chance that you’ll fail to get her back (without the right techniques) is somewhere between 62-70%, if not higher.
And for the guys who managed to get their ex-girlfriends back, the studies only measure if the women came back, not if they stayed.
Read between the lines here.
Almost all women will miss their ex-boyfriends at some point.
But between 62-70% of couples that break up won’t get back together.
So why is that?
There are two reasons. Number one, is most people underestimate the amount of work it takes to fix a broken relationship. Very rarely is it just one or two little tweaks.
It’s a much more involved process that sometimes takes years of constant effort that most people are not willing to put in.
True change doesn’t happen overnight.
It also requires a level of self-awareness that most people just don’t have. Look around you. How many people have the self-awareness to know their faults and the discipline to put in place a system to address them?
Saving a broken relationship REQUIRES both of these, from not one, but both parties.
And that my friend, leads us to the uncomfortable truth.
Just Because She Misses You Doesn’t Mean Your Relationship Is Worth Saving
So now you understand that she:
- Has missed you OR
- Will miss you in the future
Great! Assuming you do things correctly and immediately walk away, she will miss you.
But now we need to explore the painful truth for many of you reading this: to her, your relationship may not be worth saving.
And honestly, for many of you reading this, it’s probably not worth going back.
I know these are two bold claims, especially in an industry where “coaches” love to promise you the world in return for $1,997.
So let’s wind the clock back a few years. Gather around the fire kids, it’s storytime.
She Missed Me & I Got Her Back. But It Wasn’t Meant To Be
The first girl I ever dated seriously, (let’s call her Gia) I was in a long-term relationship with for 3.5 years.
When she dumped me, I was crushed. I lost my drive and motivation to do anything. In the span of about a month, I lost 15 pounds, my grades slipped, and I made no progress in any of my businesses.
That breakup was the one that initially inspired me to begin researching the beginnings of the Men’s Breakup “Breakthrough Breakup” system, but that’s another story entirely.
My life felt like it ground to a halt. I (incorrectly) thought that that the only way to get back to feeling normal was to do anything in my power to get her back.
Just like you, I looked for all the signs that she missed me.
After about a month of doing everything wrong, I managed to stay on no-contact for something like 2 months.
And guess what? She reached out. She missed me.
She literally told me “I feel like there’s a hole in my life where you used to be”.
I went to see her shortly after that. We flirted and ended up having sex, just like I teach in my article about meeting up with her for the first time.
At first, it felt great. After trying everything to get her back it felt like I was finally making some real progress.
But when I went home the next day something didn’t quite feel right. I couldn’t put my finger on it.
We went on a few more dates over the next couple of months, and even though I thought wanted her back, something was off.
I was doing all kinds of things wrong, but she still wanted to see me, so I considered that a win.
What I didn’t realize at the time was the relationship wasn’t worth saving.
One day I sat down and asked myself what I really wanted in a girlfriend. I made a list that described her in every detail, and then I sat back and visualized what it would be like to be with a “perfect” woman like that.
“Holy shit” I said to myself after a few minutes, as the reality of the situation smacked me across the face.
I wasn’t really interested in dating Gia. I wanted her back because I was scared of being alone. I missed her because I hadn’t filled the space in my life where she had been.
I didn’t miss all the fights over next to nothing.
I didn’t miss all the crying for no reason at all.
I didn’t miss her yelling at me for stupid shit.
When this realization dawned on me, I began to pull back from Gia.
Apparently, she felt the same way. A few weeks after I had my moment of clarity, she told me she didn’t think that we were going to work.
I shrugged and moved on with my life. It hurt, but only to my ego.
I was already dating another woman named Paige who I really liked, which helped.
So what’s the moral of the story here?
She will miss you, and you definitely miss her right now. But I urge you to look deeper and ask the question “Why?”
Why do you miss her? Do you miss having someone there?
Or do you miss her because she was the “perfect girl for you”?
If it’s the second one, you need to read this.
For you young guys under 35, I can assure you: she’s not the perfect girl for you. You’ve got a lifetime to meet other women. She’s one of many, I promise you.
As your dating/relationship management skills improve, you’ll end up meeting and dating women that will put your ex-girlfriend to shame.
There’s no rush to settle down.
For you older guys who DO want to settle down, the same thing applies. Do you really want to settle down with a woman who has already shown she’ll pull the rug out from under you when things go wrong?
Let Her Miss You. Focus On You!
Right now, the last thing you need to be worried about is whether or not she is missing you.
You know that her missing you is not enough to get her back.
So what do you do instead?
You stop focusing on what she’s doing and how she’s feeling and you start focusing on yourself.
Here you are, so worried about how the woman who dumped you is feeling.
But what about you? How are you feeling?
If you really want her back, you need to stop worrying about how she’s feeling. If she’s not reaching out to you, how she is feeling is irrelevant.
What matters instead is how you feel about yourself. Are you happy with the way your life is going?
Are you happy with the women in it?
The job you have?
Your grades in school?
Her missing you is not enough. If you want to get her back or get someone better, you need to BE BETTER.
And that my friend, comes from work.
If you need suggestions on where to begin, I suggest you start by reading my article on 8 ways you can start working on yourself right this second.
Stop wondering. Start doing.
Talk soon my friend,