This is part 1 of a 3 part series on how to find, structure, and manage your new relationships after a breakup.
If you’re used to the traditional model of dating, then this is going to come as a bit of a shock.
Yep, what I’m talking about today totally flies in the face of how most men date and love women.
You should ALWAYS have more than one woman in your life whom you’re having sex with.
To rub added salt in the wound…
You shouldn’t be looking for a new relationship right after a breakup. You should be looking to date and spend time with as many new women as possible in order to improve your women skills.
Your last relationship ended for a reason, and I’m willing to be that a lot of that had to do these two things.
- Poor relationship management skills
- Poor women selection skills
These two areas are VITAL to having successful relationships. Hell, I would argue that these two skills are vital to life in general. Picking the wrong woman and failing to manage her successfully is like strapping yourself to a ticking time bomb. Shit is going to get nasty, it’s only a matter of when.
Yikes. We don’t want that.
However, most men go through life without learning either skill to competition.
It’s part of the reason we’re seeing divorce rates of over 50%, as well as the steady decline of the family unit. Today, men just don’t know how to handle women. Even women are realizing today’s men just need some help.
The good news is that picking the right women, and then learning to manage those women correctly is easy.
You just need to have a system for managing women, and then put in the time and numbers.
The more women you date, the better you’re going to get.
So let’s get busy.
What I’m going to introduce to you today is the system I use to manage relationships. There are 4 different buckets of women, and being able to classify each of your women will help you manage their expectations and emotions. If you want harmonious, low drama relationships, you’ll need to employ a relationship management system, like mine.
This system is specifically formatted for men who have just gone through a breakup. It gives you maximum freedom to design the life that you want, without conforming to what “society” tells you is normal.
With this system I’m able to:
- Have sex with whomever I want, whenever I want to
- Maintain a wonderful girlfriend while still being able to enjoy sexual variety
- Choose how much time I want to spend on relationships
- Completely crush oneitis because I always have multiple options
- Never deal with drama from any of my women, including my girlfriend
Getting your post-breakup dating rotation going is tricky. It requires time, practice, and fine tuning. You’ll need a number of skills to be able to manage multiple women, their emotions, and their expectations.
Before we get into that, let’s talk about the types of women that make up the championship rotation, as well as which types you’re allowed to have after your breakup.
The energy salary cap
At any given time, you only have a finite amount of energy to give to the world. This energy is the fuel for everything you do in life. Every action you take in a day consumes a little bit of this energy. If you ever feel exhausted emotionally, it’s because you’re going over your energy salary cap.
Everyone is going to use their energy salary cap differently. Most of my energy is spent on building my portfolio of businesses, my girlfriend, and my health. At the end of the day, I go to bed tired, but fulfilled.
If I tried to add anything else that taxed my energy, I’d start to get overwhelmed and discouraged.
You know the feeling when there’s just too many things to do and you can’t possible manage them all? Yeah, that’s feeling you should expect if you go over your energy salary cap.
Each of you has your own energy salary cap, as well as tasks that tax your energy. Some of you may have energy left over, which is great. You can use this energy to do anything you set your mind to.
I would recommend you invest at least a little bit of it on getting your sexual needs met.
When it comes to dating, part of managing women goes back to managing your finite amount of energy. Each different type of woman in your rotation will demand your energy. The more serious you are with a woman, the more of your energy she will demand.
That’s why you can’t have two girlfriends, for example. Both will want copious amounts of your energy, and it’ll be impossible for you to get anything else done, notwithstanding the emotional confusion you’ll suffer from having two serious girlfriends.
For a guy that’s fresh out of a breakup, you want to keep the energy burden imposed on you by women low. Your focus shouldn’t be on women, it should be on getting over your breakup and improving yourself along the way.
That doesn’t mean you should become celibate, or doom yourself to a life of inceldom. No no, you still should be getting laid.
If you have the right system, it won’t take a lot of energy.
With that being said, let’s talk about the 4 types of women you’ll have to choose from, as well as how you can structure your rotation to maximize the benefits while limiting the costs.
1: Franchise Player
Your franchise player is the most important woman in your life that you place the highest value. This is your serious girlfriend, wife, or other arrangement where you two are emotionally exclusive. However, you are allowed to play on the side with low-level reserves and prospects. You can only have one franchise player at a time. If you have more than one, you really have two starters.
A franchise player is a woman you love, and there’s no two ways around that. You can introduce her to your family, your friends, and co-workers. She’s a very public part of your life, and someone that you are okay with associating with in the public sphere.
I think it goes without saying that you need to choose your franchise player carefully. A good franchise player can help improve your already wonderful life, while a bad one can make it a living hell.
Franchise Players have a high energy cost, and they require good relationship management skills. Finding a good franchise player is a mix of good timing, great selection skills, and confidence.
We won’t be talking too much about franchise players, mostly because you shouldn’t have one right after a breakup. In my opinion, you shouldn’t even consider having a franchise player until you’ve slept with at least 15 women and have several starters over a period of at least 3-5 years. Otherwise the chances that you’ll mismanage your franchise player is high.
Starters are your bread and butter. They are less serious than Franchise Players, and you can have two or more of them. Hell, you can have as many as you want, but in my experience having more than 3 or 4 takes a huge toll on your energy salary cap.
Most men will be perfectly happy with around 2 quality starters.
Starters are women you genuinely enjoy being around, and have an emotional connection with. You can love starters, or enjoy a something just slightly more than a base emotional connection. It’s really up to you.
Starters are different from franchise players in that you can have different degrees of starters. You can have high end, and low end starters. If you have two starters, it’s very common to have one that you like more than the other.
Accordingly, you can adjust the amount of energy you give to each starter. They’re easily the most flexible of the roster slots.
With starters, there are a few rules to sign them to an unwritten contract.
- You don’t see her more than once a week. It’s okay if you spend more than 1 consecutive day with her, as long as it’s not more than 3 days, and you don’t do this often. The once a week rule keeps her from becoming a de-facto girlfriend, which you really don’t want after a breakup. Also, when you aren’t seeing her, you shouldn’t be in constant contact.
- You can take her on dates, have her sleep over, and even take her on weekend trips provided she’s paying for her half. Never take her on expensive dates or fancy dinners. Something like the museum, or a walk in the park is cool, but any couple’s type dates are not.
- You can introduce her to your friends, however I highly recommend you don’t take her on outings with them.
- You should always wear a condom with your starters. This should go without saying, but I know some of y’all won’t want to wrap it up. Any time you have the potential to sleep with multiple women, you should always be using condoms.
- You don’t get to call her your girlfriend.
- You always have sex when you two are together (this is important)
- If she gives you any drama (insults you, gets mad about your relationship, etc), she gets downgraded to a reserve. If she does it again, she’s out of the rotation.
I love starters, and I’ve had dozens over the years since I first codified this system. You get almost all of the benefits of a girlfriend, without getting any of the drama, time management issues, lack of sex.
With starters, you just follow the rules and enjoy a happy and harmonious sex filled life.
You’re probably familiar with the term reserves in basketball. These are the guys that sit on the edge of the bench and only occasionally get playing time. They’re still extremely useful to their team even if they aren’t playing the leading role.
You’re probably also familiar with friends with benefits, and all of the negative connotations associated with them.
The reserve category blends those two together to create a pool of women that are still vital to your rotation, but more in a strength-in-numbers type.
Your reserves are like friends with benefits in that you have sex with them, and don’t take them on dates. However, these are women that you actually can consider a friend. You’ll want to treat these women well. Although you want to avoid taking these women on dates so that they don’t get the wrong idea, you should feel comfortable talking to them.
Rules for a reserve:
- Only see her ONCE PER WEEK, maximum. You can see her less, if you want.
- Only hang out at your place or hers. No public dates, or dates at all.
- You should be having sex with your reserves every time you get together.
- Texting between you and a reserve is only for scheduling dates.
- ALWAYS wear a condom.
- When having sex, always make sure you put effort into rocking her world. You want dominant, orgasmic sex that she can’t get enough of. She’ll keep coming back to you because you’re good. Take the time to learn how to give women orgasms.
- She’s not allowed to sleep over.
- If she gives you any drama about your arrangement, she’s out.
If a particular reserve is really good to you, and hasn’t given you any drama it’s completely fine to upgrade her to a starter. Historically, most of my starters have begun as reserves and worked their way up over time.
Reserves are very easy on the energy, and you should always a few of them on the side.
Prospects are like draft picks – they’re new talent for you to develop and you should always have a few in the pipeline.
Depending on how these women perform, you can upgrade them to reserves and starters. However, you can never downgrade a woman that’s been part of your rotation to a prospect. She can only be a reserve, otherwise she’s out of the rotation.
You can have as many prospects as you want, and you’re only limited by your energy.
The one caveat to prospects, is that you need a system to acquire them. Most men just stumble onto women, as opposed to having a repeatable system to acquire them on demand. This leads to the scarcity mentality, which is the number 1 reason men choose women that just aren’t right for them.
The right rotation after a breakup
If you’ve just gone through a breakup the right rotation for you will consist of 2 starters, and between 1-3 reserves.
Having two starters gives you two high quality women that you like, so you won’t be prone to oneitis. Having quality women also makes it easier to stay in no contact, because your emotional needs are being met. Your starters will also meet your needs sexually, which will go a long way in keeping you detached from the fantasy of your ex girlfriend.
The reserves function as a backup in case one of your starters needs to be downgraded. They also give you sexual variety, which will keep you a happy man.
A rotation like this works really well because the energy cost is so low. You only need to see the starters once a week, and you can easily accomplish that on two non-consecutive nights. You’ll then have your days free.
If you get horny and need to bust a nut? No problem. Call up one of your reserves and get that shit taken care of.
You might think that you aren’t capable of having this many women, but I can promise you this. Any man who is willing to put in the work is capable of having 2 starters and a 1-3 reserves.
It all comes down to how badly you want it.